


Lady DP? Therapy? Hahahaha

by wondrously_mekt



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Deadpool Thought Boxes, Deadpool corps, Marvel Universe, Mercenaries, Therapy, They tried E for effort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-28 01:25:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10820826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wondrously_mekt/pseuds/wondrously_mekt
Summary: Someone thought it was smart to make Wanda go to therapy, how does that play out?





	Lady DP? Therapy? Hahahaha

*Click….clock…...click….....clock* Each sound felt like it took longer to come forth a soft beam of light shining in on the professionally decorated room. On one side a dark haired woman about middle aged and wore the type of clothes you’d expect to see on a divorced school principal or vice principal. On the other a red and black clad merc, “ With long gorgeous blonde hair, lean yet sexy long legs and boobs that could make a man drool. “ khmmm….are you done? “Okay okay jeez, don't get your panties in a bunch admin...continue..” She hasn't exactly agreed to be here but somehow found herself in the same room as a psychiatrist anyways. It was definitely a moment filled with awkward silence as the women seemed to observe the merc in distaste. “So do you just get paid to sit there and stare lasers at my head or yah gonna ask some stupid questions?” Wanda spoke up the white slits that represented her eyes widened with false curiosity leaning forward a bit in the uncomfortable seat she'd been in for the last five minutes. {Seriously Wanda why are you here} (we all know this never ends well, for them at least)

“Hmm, I can see now why they warned me about you, well let's start off with introductions… My name is Dr. Kyle, but you can call me Cait, what do you prefer to be called?” Wanda's eyes were narrow and she still held her lent forward position her elbow on her knee as she observed the older woman. (I'd say divorced) {nah maybe single with a few cats…} A playful smile slowly grew on Wanda's face at her voices guesses of what the woman's life was like before getting up and walking to the window once there she held a pipe near her mouth or where the mask suggests it would be and spoke in a serious tone. “I've been called many names….Lady Deadpool, the hot enchilada, hot pants (mostly by wade) and last but not least Wanda Wilson…..titles that's all they are...none are truly me for you see I am but an idea...a role that needed taking and when everyone else took it I stepped up to do the ugly no one else would take…” By the time she reached her last words the color tone had turned as grim as the filters on Batman v Superman, followed by a slow frame going closer to her face. “At watch it !” She blurted shoving the camera away when it was practically in her face she then glanced at the woman who was writing disinterestedly on her notepad. Wanda nearly seemed to dis-inflate, her shoulders slouching before tossing the pipe over her shoulder. “Ughh, come on have a sense of humor, most at least roll their eyes.” With a sigh she began her explanation, “I'm not here to role my eyes or judge you Wanda…” {Oh first name} (I thought that was rude?) {Eghh} 

Thinking it over she smiled and sat down toying with her fingers anxiously in her lap before glancing up at Ms. Kyle. “So you really want to help Lil’ ol me? I'm sure you know I'm not the easiest of persons to listen to?” Long red and black clad legs crossed elegantly on the preferred seat in the room a bean bag type looking thing. She adjusted her posture and let her hair rest on her shoulder putting on her best angel look. (What's she up to?) {I have no clue but hopefully something to get us out of here} The older woman seemed almost relieved and believed to be getting somewhere with the infamous mercenary. A good friend in the x-men had asked her to speak with the blonde and though shed been reluctant it seemed she wasn't as bad as her male counter part. “Hold on let me cut in here, just wanna say in a battle of brains I totally win!” Wanda pointed out at a wall in the room using a thumb to point to herself with pride. Cait looked to the same wall and got a ‘who the hell you talking to?’ Face. “Uh, yes I was told of your split personality disorder...uh, am I correct to assume you were speaking as what you believe yourself to be uh Yellow box?” “Pshhh hahahaha no, sister see I have voices not split personality if anyone has split personality its Tito I'm telling you teen wade is worse than big boy wade…” The women made to jot down what she’d said as Wanda continued to speak seemingly undeterred. “So, as to my voices, (hey tell her I'm the cool one!) {Ha please I'm the little amount sanity Wanda has I'm way better} [shush it you two I'm story telling!] (I'm just saying though) there's one that appears in yellow little boxes when I'm in comics its sad most of you guys can't see em, if yah ask me you all need more creativity who’s to say you guys aren't the crazy ones and not me. Anyways there's another that shows up in white ones and she brags and nags a lot so I think she might be my mother's conscious stuffed into me somehow, {not true!} I don't know I'm still debating it.” (Ahahaha)  
She lent forward poking at a small bird desk toy, “You know the ones you see in the movies haha these things are great.” It was apparent the older woman was beginning to grow tired of the jabbering and Wanda was well aware of this. “Alright, uh how about your childhood..” Wanda froze and sat back in the cushioned seat her eyes visibly growing pensive. “I don't know…” The woman leaned forward on her desk before urging her to continue. “We all had younger years, you can speak with me. (Haha did she?) {I'm not sure how she looked in ‘younger years’ lack of wedding ring says not so hot} “Well if you insist, let's start from the veeeerrrry beginning shall we.” Snapping her fingers the lights dimmed and Wanda placed a heavy projector on her desk before speaking. “So this was my mommy before teen pregnancy!” 

~° Many, Many hours later °~

Her hands were in her hair nearly pulling stands out as her eyes struggled to remain on the projections before her that voice, that never ending voice! “And so I met my alternate self, his name is wade, he's alright you know I made out with him but that wasn't so great, we never did it again. (Or at least that's what the comics want yah to think) {haha shh!} “It was so cool I had my own ship and it was called Bea Aurther she always smelled like burritos since Tito always farted it was gross but not as much as Head pool…” “Enough!” The woman beside Wanda yelled and slammed the notead on her desk before throwing an index finger to point at the door. “Out!” 

“Aw but I haven't gotten to the best part!” The only response she received was a glare and another out. “Fine…” Wanda left the projector and began to head for the door before halting mid-step and smiling, running back she grabbed the desk toy and used two fingers to give a little salute goodbye. “I'll take this...have a great day!” Walking out she felt content with her work and her new toy. (Think she believed all that jazz) {it was all lies, except some but still most} (haha that outta teach ‘em to try that crap on Wanda) “Guys I think we should pay the other pools a visit…” (Yay dog pool!) {Ugh can we skip head pool..} “Oh Bea Aurther!” 

\-- End! --

**Author's Note:**

> P.s. no toy birds were harmed after this story….haha okay that's a lie Dog Pool ate it, the little shit!


End file.
